"A little while and ye shall not see me; and again a little while and ye shall see me; because I go to the Father." What was Jesus talking about?! His disciples were certainly puzzled, and I don't think anyone has quite worked it out even today. Jesus did have a habit of speaking in ways that could be interpreted in many different ways. He talked in parables, and sayings that opened up to further questions and exploration rather than imparted neat and tidy information. It is not supposed to be easy to understand. It's supposed to make you wonder and think.
This is further complicated by the style of John's gospel. It frequently mixes up the words of Jesus with extended meditations on their meaning, circling around the theme, and you're never quite sure where Jesus words begin or end. And actually John isn't all that bothered about that as he believes Jesus is still speaking through his Holy Spirit - even in the words he is writing.
That is part of what our passage is talking about. The world doesn't see Jesus any more, and never understood him anyway, but his followers do see him - figuratively speaking - because he is with them and in them by the Holy Spirit; and through the Holy Spirit Jesus himself is still speaking.
On one level, we might see with the benefit of hindsight, Jesus is talking about his resurrection. That is true, though I don't think it is that simple. Not that the resurrection is simple. "A little while and you will not see me..." He will die and they will see him no more. Then a little while and they will see him again, risen and among them. But they will see him and the world will not.
I think if I had been Jesus and risen from the dead, I'd have been appearing to all those who mocked me on the cross saying, "Look at the so called Messiah now!!" I'd be saying, 'I told you so!' to all those who doubted me. But Jesus does none of that. As far as his enemies are concerned Jesus is still very much dead. His disciples have this mad idea he's alive, but his enemies don't see him at all. They carry on in their blindness and materialism and hatred of difference and violence - all the things that took Jesus to the Cross. The risen Jesus only appears to those who seek to follow him.
I won't say he only appears to those who believe he is alive because that blatantly isn't true. He appears to Mary Magdalene in the graveyard when she has no idea what has happened. He appears to Thomas who refuses to believe. But by and large it is only those who want him to be alive who see that he is. As ever there are exceptions, like St Paul, who, on the Damascus Road, has a vision of the risen Jesus, as he's on his way to persecute the madmen who say Jesus is alive.
But for the most part, while the world rejoices in its blind and shallow materialism, it is those who weep and wail because Jesus' way seems to have failed, who start to see he is very much alive.
And that carries on after the Ascension - when Jesus no longer pops up physically in ways his friends can see and touch. Immediately before the passage we read for our Gospel reading Jesus is telling his friends that he must 'go to the Father' so that the Counsellor, the Advocate, the Holy Spirit will come to them, so that though he is physically absent he will be still be very much with them and in them, and they in him. So there is at least a double meaning to his words. He is talking about his rising from the dead, but also about being with them by his Spirit. The one of course depends on the other. If Jesus is not risen then he cannot be alive with us by his Spirit.
But though we may believe Jesus rose on Easter day, what difference does that make to us if we can't meet him ourselves? Well by his Spirit we can. Now he can be alive and present with not just a few disciples who can physically see him, but with countless millions in every part of the world. But only with those who want him to be alive and present.
For a little while, the world rejoices in its materialism and those who want to see Jesus alive and ruling in his Father's kingdom will weep and wail. It seems the Christian way is fading and dying. But all who truly long for him will have their sorrow turned to joy. The resurrection will happen for us too. Because the Spirit of him who was raised is with us the victory over death keeps happening in ways large or small. Though we weep at the tomb of our faith, our sorrow will be like the sorrow of a woman in labour - we will remember it no more when the new world is brought to birth in and for us. And though the world carries on happy in its blindness eventually it will see the emptiness of all that it chases after - but our joy, no one can take away from us.
And if the Spirit is real, then the resurrection of Jesus can be as real for us as it was for those who physically saw it. But a question remains. Do you want Jesus to be alive? If we are among those who wanted to put the challenge of Jesus away from them - to sweep it under the carpet, nail it to a cross, get rid of it - then we won't see him alive. He won't force himself on us. Jesus didn't come back to say 'I told you so.' He came back to work with his followers - those who want him - to continue to build the new creation - a new world of justice and peace and love. Do we want him to be alive to continue to challenge us to work for this? Then he will be. Do we want him to help us and give us the power to work for this kingdom of God on earth? Then he will.
In the same way it puzzled the disciples that will always be something that puzzles us. But it is also something that can be very real - a joy that no one can take away. But he will not come to us if we don't want him. Let's ask him to come and be part of us by his Spirit. Let's receive him in Communion and in our hearts.
